Dear Diary
by LuvMeSumGlee
Summary: I, Lea Michele, have a problem. I'm a little bit in love with my best friend
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: So this is a Lea/Jon story, because they are just so cute together and they just need to get married lol… Anyway, I know this will never happen, but I just had to write it. I intended to make this a one-shot, but if you guys really like it, I might continue.**

**A/N Revised: I decided I needed to differentiate between the two diaries, so Lea's diary is in italics and Jon's is bold.**

_Dear Diary,_

_ I, Lea Michele, have a problem. I'm a little bit in love with my best friend._

_ I know, I know, it's the oldest teen movie cliché in the book, the girl falls in love with her best friend, he's oblivious to the fact, he likes someone else, blah blah blah, hijinks ensue. But they always get together in the end. There's just one hitch in my story. My best friend is gay. _

_ I'm not sure exactly when I fell in love with Jonathan. I mean, I thought he was attractive the second I met him, but I think my feelings for him really started to grow when I heard him sing. He has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. And to top off his looks and his voice, he's like the sweetest guy in the world. He never fails to make me smile. But being attracted to someone doesn't equal love. So how did I get here?_

_ When we started working on Spring Awakening it was awkward, to say the least. I was just a kid and here I was making out with a boy I had just met, letting him undress me. It was a very unnerving experience. And yet, we grew closer because of it. I was more comfortable with him than any other boy. I never thought twice about holding his hand, kissing his cheek, or hugging him as tight as possible. It was just the way things were between us. We had been so intimate in Spring Awakening, all that PDA seemed like nothing in comparison. Before he came out, there were tons of rumors that we were dating, but I always assured everyone that we were simply best friends and that my feelings for him were in no way romantic._

_ When did that become a lie?_

_ I might not be able to pinpoint when I fell in love with Jon, but I can tell you exactly when I realized I was in love with him. It was at the airport. He was about to leave for London to be in Deathtrap. We were going to be nearly 6,000 miles apart for __**four months. **__So as he was giving me a hug before he boarded his plane I buried my face in the crook of his neck and breathed in, inhaling the scent of his cologne and trying my best not to cry. He kissed the top of my head and whispered, "I'll miss you," and that was when it hit me: I love him. Oh God, I love him. And then he just left. Now I'm stuck here without him, dealing with these… feelings. _

_ Because, now that I realized I'm in love with him, I can't __**stop**__ thinking about being in love with him. I mean it's completely ridiculous to have feelings that Jonathan can't reciprocate. But I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about what it would feel like to kiss him, and not be acting. I keep imagining us going on dates, and getting married and having kids. It's crazy, I know, but I just love him so so very much._

_ What do I do?_

**Dear Diary,**

** Yo, it's Jon, what's up?**

** Just kidding, I know you can't answer me. But the few times I've sneaked a peek at Lea's diary, she always asks it questions like it can answer her. Speaking of Lea, I have a bit of a situation.**

** I think I might be in love with her.**

** I know what you're thinking (er, rather, what you would be thinking if you could think), 'But Jon aren't you gay?' Well the answer to that, sweet Diary is: ****Yes.****No.**** I don't know.**

** I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm confused. I mean I've never been romantically attracted to girls, so that makes me gay, right? But then there's Lea. She's the most amazing person I've ever known. I trust her with everything, she makes me happy, and I can't imagine my life without her. And I'm pretty sure that means I'm in love with her. So I'm not gay? And now I'm just as bad as Lea, asking you questions like you can answer. Gosh, I just don't know what to do. And I'm stuck here in London so I can't even talk to Lea about it. But even if she were here, I don't know what I would say. 'Hey Lea, I know I said I was gay but now I'm not so sure, cuz, well I'm in love with you. Wanna make out?' Nope, that would not go well. Great, now I can't get the image of me making out with Lea out of my head. This is just a huge mess. Is it January yet? I miss my best friend. (Maybe more? I don't know)**

*I hope nobody gets offended for me making Groff semi-straight. I just love the idea of them together. This is just for fun. Please review and let me know what you think!*


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Ok I am having way too much fun writing this haha. This is kinda short but oh well. I love the idea that Lea would write in her diary in a very controlled way, almost like a report, while Jon sort of talks to his diary and writes whatever's on his mind at the moment. That just seems like them to me, so that's what I did. Enjoy the chapter and please review!**

_Dear Diary,_

_ I told Chris and Amber today. We were eating lunch together and they were discussing their plans to see the new Harry Potter movie when it comes out and all of a sudden I just blurted out, "I'm in love with Jon!" I don't know what came over me; I just couldn't hold it in any longer. They stared at me for a second, then Chris wrinkled his nose like he always does when he's confused. He was all, "The guy that kills himself in Spring Awakening?" They thought I meant John Gallagher Jr.! So I quickly corrected them saying "Not that John, __**my**__ Jon." And then I proceeded to tell them the whole story. Amber teased that I'm just like Mercedes falling in love with Kurt. At first I was insulted that she would make fun of my situation, but then I realized she was right. Except, unlike Mercedes, I'm fully aware of the fact that Jon is gay. Which makes it all the more pathetic. Then Cory walked up to the table, still wearing his football uniform from a scene he had been shooting. He asked what we were talking about. Chris almost told him, but Amber saw my panicked look so she stomped on his foot and invited Cory to go see Harry Potter with them. Cory said, "Are you kidding? Of course!" Then they started an intense conversation about the books vs the movies. I mouthed a desperate thank you to Amber and pretended I was totally interested in what Chris and Cory were saying, but really, my mind was drifting to Jon._

**Dear Diary,**

** I think I figured out what the problem is.**

** The problem is, labels suck.**

** So from this point forward, I'm going to stop trying to figure out if I'm homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, trisexual, or whatever –sexual. I'm just a guy who's in love with his best friend. Of course, that will be a little harder to explain to other people than you, Diary, cuz unlike you and me, they're all kind of obsessed with labels.**

** I wish I had someone to talk to about this. It's not like I haven't made friends with the cast and crew here, I just haven't gotten close enough to any of them to feel comfortable telling them such a personal secret like that. Brb, Diary, my phone's ringing.**

** Guess what? JOHN'S COMING TO VISIT! I can't even describe how perfect his timing is. I mean I was just saying how I need someone to talk to about the whole Lea thing and then John calls saying he has a break from American Idiot for a few days so he's going to come see me in Deathtrap. FINALLY I can tell someone I love Lea. John is like my brother and I know I can trust him with anything. Granted, I **_**usually**_** tell my deepest, darkest secrets to Lea, but that's not an option. But I have to tell someone before I go crazy, and I'll be much more comfortable telling John than anyone I've met here. Hopefully he doesn't go all label-crazy on me. He'll understand, right, Diary? Maybe I shouldn't tell him… Who am I kidding? Of course he'll understand; John's my bro, he's got my back. Yeah, I'll definitely tell him.**

** I think. **


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I have a feeling these chapters are all gonna be short but that means I update the story quicker, so you guys are cool with that, right? Review and let me know what you think!

**Dear Diary,**

** Well that didn't go at all like I expected.**

** So we went out to eat at my favorite restaurant near the theater after the play. We caught up on what we had been up to and had all the usual small talk you have at dinner. The whole time I was so nervous I was practically shaking. I must've opened my mouth to tell him but chickened out at least five times. Of course, John realized something was bothering me and asked what it was. I told him I kind of had something important to tell him. Then he pestered me to just tell him already. So I finally worked up all my courage, took a deep breath and said, "The thing is, I think I'm in love with Lea." I had to force myself not to cringe as I waited for his reaction. He had a blank look on his face for a few agonizingly long seconds. Then, he just grinned. "That was your big news? I could've told you that years ago!" To be honest, Diary, I was a little offended that he took my revelation so lightly.**

** But at the same time, it made me hopeful. Maybe my friends and family will all take it this well, saying they knew it all along, instead of getting hung up on the 'Aren't you gay?' thing. Well, I've gotta go, Diary. John and I are going out tonight so I can show him more of the city. London really is fantastic. I just wish I had Lea here to share it with…**

Dear Jon,

I can't believe you write in a diary! You're such a teenage girl, like OMG! (That was me making fun of you by the way, in case you didn't get that) Wow, you've really got it bad for Lea, huh? You've been ranting about her for the last like ten entries. Oops, I think you're getting out of the shower, so I better scram. Word of advice though, next time I'm over, don't leave your precious diary laying on your nightstand.

Sincerely

Your best Bro John ;)

**Diary, don't listen to John. He has no idea what he's talking about. Teenage girls aren't the only ones who have diaries. But, from now on, I think I'm going to hide you in a safe place.**

_Dear Diary,_

_ That was unexpected._

_ Cory asked me out today._

_ Sorry, for the abruptness of this entry, I'm still trying to process it._

_ We were just sitting around on my bedroom set in between takes when he turned to me and said, "Listen Lea, I've been wanting to ask you this since you and Theo broke up, but I figured you needed space so I've been waiting for like three months and now… Well, would you like to go out sometime? You know, on a date?" I just stared at him. I'm embarrassed to admit how long I sat there gaping at him, my mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. Then he blushed and started apologizing and I just felt so bad for him so I kind of, sort of said yes._

_ Don't get me wrong, Cory's a great guy and everything, I've just never been attracted to him that way. Besides, I'm still dealing with being in love with Jon. Although, maybe if I went out with Cory I could get over Jon. I was going to tell Cory I couldn't go, but maybe dating him isn't such a bad idea. It would make infinitely more sense to date a straight guy than to pine for a gay one. _

_ Ok, I guess I'm going on a date with Cory._

_ This should be interesting._


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Sorry I had a super busy weekend so I didn't get to update. Anyway, here's a short little chapter. Also, who loved Blaine last night? "Well, he's not coming out anytime soon." I love him : ) Now if we could just get Jesse back, I would be content. Anyway, review and let me know what you think **

_Dear Diary,_

_ Well, that wasn't completely horrible, though a bit awkward. _

_ We ended up filming late today, so Cory and I went straight from the studio to go eat dinner. We didn't go anywhere fancy, just this little diner near Cory's apartment. He was a gentleman and opened the door for me, which was sweet. It's just an odd experience to go on a date with your co-star. It felt more like Rachel was on a date with Finn than I was on a date with Cory._

_ Glee was our main topic of conversation. It's really one of the only things we have in common. Cory's not into Broadway like I am, though his interest has grown since the show started. Still, I knew he wouldn't be interested in having in-depth conversations about the new musicals coming out, analyzing the old ones, discussing who was getting what role, and who was dating who. Those were the sort of things Jon and I could talk about for hours on end._

_ Speaking of Jon, when I called him after I got home from my date with Cory, he seemed a little off. He was gushing about how great it had been to see John and saying I had to come visit as soon as possible and he seemed fine. Then he asked what I had been up to today and I told him about my date with Cory and he kind of shut down. He actually seemed mad about it. He kept saying Cory wasn't right for me. I hate to say it, but I got a little snippy with him. "Well, then please enlighten me, Jon. Who on Earth meets your incredibly high standards for my boyfriend? Stop being so full of yourself; not everyone's as perfect as you." I feel horrible about it, but he was getting upset with me for no reason and it just made me so mad! I've texted him and apologized numerous times, but he hasn't replied yet._

_ Anyway, back to my date with Cory. After dinner, we went to a movie. We watched Due Date, which was hilarious of course. The movie was probably the least awkward part of the night, because we've gone to movies together several times. Granted, it's usually with other cast members, but it was still familiar territory for us. The most awkward part, however, was saying goodnight. He tried to kiss me at the same time that I turned to unlock my door, so he ended up kissing my ear. I looked back at him in surprise, and there was an incredibly awkward moment when you could tell he was debating whether or not to try to kiss me again. I quickly told him I would see him tomorrow and retreated into my apartment. Dianna, of course, wanted all the details of the date. She thinks Cory and I dating would be about the cutest thing ever, since we date on the show. One of these days I need to tell her about Jon._

_ Well, that's all I have to say for right now. I'm gonna try to call Jon again. _

**Dear Diary,**

** I'm so PISSED! **

** It's not like I expected Lea to be single forever, but to find out that she went on a date with Cory freaking Monteith? I just… can't even deal with this. I feel like I'm living in that freaking show. I mean, he's so not right for her.**

** Don't get me wrong, Cory's a nice enough guy, it's just…**

** Who am I kidding? I would be mad about anyone dating Lea, not just Cory. And if I keep getting mad about her dating people, Lea's bound to notice something's up. She already got mad tonight and I thought I kept my cool pretty well. I have to admit, what she said stung. Diary, I can't tell you how much I wanted to tell her that the only guy I wanted her to date was me. I almost let it slip! I came so close to telling her, that I've been afraid to respond to any of her calls to apologize cuz I think I'll actually tell her. I know I need to tell her eventually, but not like this. Ugh, she's calling again. Sorry, Diary, I need to answer and I need my full attention for this conversation. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Sorry for the huge delay. I wrote the beginning of this chapter before Thanksgiving but, you know, life happens… I hope you guys enjoy this and I will try my best to update soon. My semester will be over next week so hopefully I'll be able to update more often. Anyways, please review and let me know what you think! Oh and yeah, the Jones Soda pack is a real thing ;)**

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was one of the strangest days at work I've had in a while. First, Cory seemed to assume that since we had been on one date, we were practically boyfriend and girlfriend. I let him know very gently that I considered him a wonderful friend, but I just didn't see us dating. He took it pretty well, mostly just embarrassed about his misunderstanding. I think deep down he knows it wouldn't work out between us. But Dianna had happily told all the cast about our date, so even though I settled things with Cory, I got asked about it all day and had to keep repeating that it didn't work out. But that wasn't the strangest thing about the day…_

_Amber came up to me after our last performance scene and said "Chris and I are gonna get you and Jon together." I spewed out the water I was drinking. "Amber, he's gay," I pointed out. She tilted her head. "I don't know. You guys are so close. I wouldn't be surprised if he had feelings for you." I bit my lip, daring to get my hopes up for a second. Then I just shook my head. "There's no way, Amber. I know Jon better than anyone. I would know if he had anything other than platonic feelings for me," I insisted. She just shrugged. "I like a challenge," she said mischievously. I'm a little scared to see how this develops. Because, Chris and Amber plotting? I should be afraid. _

_In other news, I finally had a scene with Darren Criss today. So between takes I got to actually talk to him, which I haven't been able to do since he joined the cast. He is a genuinely sweet, humble guy. I could see myself becoming great friends with him. Not as close as Jon of course, but maybe on par with my friendship with Cory. _

_Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I feel so bad that Jon is going to be all alone this Thanksgiving. This will be our first Thanksgiving apart since, well since we've met. Jon was going to come back for Thanksgiving dinner, but the way his schedule worked out, factoring in the travelling time, he would only be here less than twelve hours. As much as we want to see each other, I told him he shouldn't waste his time and money. He agreed, only after I promised I would spend Christmas with him in London. It's going to be so strange spending Thanksgiving without Jon. I'll have to send him something._

**Dear Lea,**

**Thanks so much for the Jones soda Thanksgiving pack. I can honestly say I've never had turkey soda before, but since you sent it to me I felt obliged to drink it and it was… interesting to say the least. But I really appreciated it, since it was the only touch of Thanksgiving I got. It's so weird being in a different country while you know your whole family is together celebrating without you. But don't worry, it really wasn't as horrible as I'm making it out to be.**

**I can't believe you'll be here in a two weeks! I miss you so much, it's not even funny. I know we talk every day, but it's not the same as actually being together. I can't wait to see you! I can't wait to see the rest of the cast either (it's so great that you guys are coming here to do press) but I'm more excited to see you. Don't tell them, though, I don't want anybody to get jealous haha. See you soon!**

**Love,**

**Jon**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Ok so my home's internet is down and I don't know when it's gonna be back up, so there will probably be a lot of delays between updates on this story for a while. But I'll keep writing chapters so I'll have them ready to post when I get internet. Anyway, here's a new chapter for you guys. Please review!

**Dear Diary,**

** I screwed up. **

**Big time.**

**I seriously can't believe I did it, I just…**

**Ok, deep breath, let me start from the beginning.**

**So the whole Glee cast came to London to perform on X-Factor. Naturally, I was stoked to see Lea; along with the rest of the cast cuz they're pretty cool. I met them at the airport and the second I saw Lea I ran over and wrapped her in the biggest, tightest hug I could. It felt so perfect. I honestly wanted to stay like that forever, holding Lea, stroking her hair, whispering how much I missed her. But of course I couldn't, because the rest of the guys were just standing there staring at us. Lea and I pulled apart so I could smile and say "Hey guys." Then I was enveloped in a massive group hug. **

**After everyone got their bags, I gave them a short tour of London. You know, Piccadilly Circus, Big Ben, the London Eye (we didn't have time to ride it, I promised Lea I'd take her on it when she comes back for a longer visit in a few weeks), and West End, all that jazz. Then we went out for lunch. It was great catching up with everybody. I can't wait to work with them all again. After lunch, we parted ways. They had to all go prepare for their appearance on X Factor and I of course had a performance.**

**Seeing Lea again brought all my feelings to the surface. It surprised me how strongly I love her. But every time she touched me, whether it was holding my hand as we walked down the street or accidentally brushing her arm against mine at lunch, I got the overwhelming urge to kiss her and tell her I love her more than I've ever loved anyone. Thankfully, I was able to restrain myself. At least, for a little while.**

**Anyway, after Deathtrap, I went back to my apartment to wait for Lea to get back from her performance. I may or may not have drunk a glass or two of wine, so my judgment wasn't exactly at 100%. So I was sitting on the couch when I heard the door open and Lea say "Gosh, it's freezing out there!" I turned around to look at her. Her face was flushed from the cold and her hair was wild from the hat she had just pulled off her head. She looked absolutely stunning. Without thinking, I got up, crossed the room, took her face in my hands and kissed her. I pulled away, coming to my senses and stared at her, horrified at what I had just done. Lea's face was an expression of pure shock. She opened her mouth to say something, but I bolted out the door before she could. I've been wandering around the streets, trying to clear my head, afraid to go back home and face Lea. Because now I have to explain to her that I love her, and I know it's going to freak her out. Right now, I'm sitting in a half deserted pub, recounting the tale of my screw-up to you, sweet Diary. Thankfully you were in my coat pocket (I used one of your pages for my grocery list earlier today) or I would have no one to tell. But yeah, as I said, I screwed up. I don't really know what to do. Well I do know I can't stay here all night.**

**I guess I'm gonna go talk to Lea.**

**Wish me luck, Diary.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sooooo sorry that this took forever to update. I kinda lost inspiration for this story. But you guys deserved an ending so here you go… I was pretty proud of myself for keeping the whole story in diary entries, but this chapter I just HAD to write in person. Anyways hope you enjoy it! Reviews are love :) Oh and apologies in advance, I suck at writing make-out scenes. Use your imagination lol**

**P.S. This is officially the second multi-chapter fic I've completed. I know, I'm pathetic.**

Jonathan returned to the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him. He found Lea standing out on the balcony, looking out onto the street. The cold wind whipped at his face like a bitter slap. He cleared his throat hesitantly. Lea spun around, eyes widening when she saw him.

"Jon!" she cried, running to hug him. "I was so worried about you!"

"What are you doing out here? Aren't you freezing?" he asked, trying to stall as long as possible.

"The cold helps me clear my head," Lea replied softly, looking down at her feet. Jon hesitantly put his arm around her and led her back inside to sit on the couch. After a moment of awkward silence, Lea started to speak. "I'm so sorry Jon. If I was giving off some sort of… signal… that I wanted you to kiss me, it wasn't intentional I swear. And even if you picked up on it, I don't know why you felt that you had to do it, especially if it repulsed you so much that you immediately had to run away-"

"Lea!" Jon cried, grabbing her by the shoulders in order to stop her very Rachel-esque babbling. She did stop, and looked at him expectantly. "I didn't kiss you because I thought you wanted me too." Lea raised one eyebrow and Jon took a breath before continuing. "I kissed you because… because _I _wanted to." He felt the blush that had been forming on his face deepen at Lea's shocked gasp. "I didn't run away because kissing you repulsed me. I ran away because I was embarrassed you had to find out this way." Lea was silent for what, to Jon, seemed like an eternity.

"Find out what?" she finally asked in a small, slightly hoarse voice. Suddenly Jon's throat felt clogged and his tongue felt like cotton.

"That- that I love you," he replied thickly. He saw the tears well up in Lea's eyes and in that instant he pictured their wonderful, beautiful friendship going down the drain. But then Lea said those utterly perfect words…

"I love you, too." She wrapped her arms around him and he felt her body shake with what he now realized were tears of joy. He reached down and raised her head up from his chest, and pulled her in for a soft kiss. She kissed him back, fervently. Suddenly she pulled away. "But wait, aren't you-" she started, but seeing the look in Jon's eyes, she just shook her head. "Never mind," she said before kissing him so forcefully that Jon ended up lying down on the couch with Lea on top of him. Eventually Jon rolled out from under her, leaving Lea on the couch while he knelt in front of her.

"I guess now is as good a time as ever to make it official," he said. He cleared his throat once again and took one of Lea's hands. "Lea Michele Sarfati*," he said slowly, lovingly, "would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?" Lea grinned at him so widely, he was sure her cheeks were going to tear.

"I thought you'd never ask," she replied. "Literally," she added with a laugh. Jon grinned too, leaning forward to kiss her again. Suddenly she laughed again.

"What?" he asked

"Nothing, I was just thinking…" she trailed off, giggling giddily. "I can't wait to write about this in my diary."

***And yes, that is Lea's actual name. You learn something new every day ;)**


End file.
